Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
John, an astute attorney who has a lot of clout in the area of missing mannequins, issued a Sheila Alert, did some legal wrangling, and the Doc now has a new fashionable friend, Sheila Jane. She is younger and not quite so vacant looking as the original but will certainly do, even though the picture indicates she apparently has an alcohol problem.
With New Year’s Eve and Carolina Panthers tailgating parties coming up, the new and improved Sheila Jane should be making lots of friends, and I predict she will soon become the Belle of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I’m sending her some Mardi Gras beads so she can get her fine jewelry collection started. You go, SJ!!!
Dec. 28--UPDATE FLASH!!! Sheila attended her first Carolina Panthers football party today!! Still boozing it up but looking stone sober. Love the feather boa!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Ah, what a lovely time at Big Sis's house yesterday...so warm that we sun worshippers gathered on the patio after unwrapping gifts and stuffing ourselves around the dinner table. Here are a few pictures:
Boomer showed off his new big wheels. He had even more fun pointing out scads of Christmas pictures that have been taken over the years of his cousins, sister, and himself with that chubby, white-haired dude he calls, "Ho-Ho."
Luke got a Scottie dog, a rescue pup, that he's named Princess Leia, since he's a fan of the Star Wars movies. We're hoping those cute little ears won't morph into braided hair buns.
Here's Auntie Flaming Bore with two of the nephs. Luke is going for the contortionist look, while Bo models his new stocking cap, a current fashion rage at his high school. Literary Diva made me the super cool scarf, which I totally love. The oversized sunglasses plopped on top of my head give me that chic helmet hair appearance that is so popular these days!
Today starts the diet!!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The other day a box arrived from my ol' neighborhood partner in crime, Literary Diva, and among the goodies she sent was a little gem of a book called, Nancy Drew’s Guide to Life, by Jennifer Worick. During my grade school years, Nancy Drew, Girl Detective, was the coolest book series that ever existed. Decades later, here comes this terrific new mini-book, a must-have in any clever girl’s library, which takes plot excerpts from the many Nancy books and compiles them into a handy dandy bible on sleuthing, dating, and survival. Here are a dandy dozen among the hundreds of great pieces of advice:
“Gesticulate like crazy to stop an ornery ox.”
“A strange tattoo might be a means of identifying long-lost royalty.”
“Never interrupt a voodoo doctor.”
“If you can at all prevent it, don’t chase after thieves when you are clad only in a leotard.”
“Don’t force your date to go to a ballet or other activity that may not be to his liking if he was knocked unconscious earlier in the day.”
“After recovering from an electrical shock to your system, find as many men as possible to vigorously massage you.”
“Loophole in the moral code: It’s okay to steal a cat if it belongs to your kidnappers.”
“Don’t release a circus animal without some identity from its claimant.”
“Owning your own key-making machine can be quite handy, and a compact one can be stored out of sight under the sink so as not to clash with your décor.”
“Never sleuth on an empty stomach.”
“If you see something resembling a shark in a river, don’t fret. It’s more likely to be a small submarine operated by thieves.”
“If a bleeding, screaming man runs from shore and starts frantically swimming toward your boat, you should probably help him out. He might be escaping from cruel employers.”
Thanks, Diva, the talented Ms. Worick, and the sly Miss Drew for all the laughs. I’m leaving my computer now to go outside and round up an ornery ox.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Big Bore's eyesight has been aging in the past few years. He can still see a deer grazing in the next county, but reading a newspaper is a challenge. He also has a pesky skin tag under his left eye that's bugging him and needs removed. So, yesterday he had an appointment with an eye doctor in Emporia. I tagged along for a Wal-Mart run afterwards and to have lunch at his favorite fast food dive, Burger King.
Monday, December 15, 2008
My adventures to the slopes ended with back surgery in 1997--not due to a skiing injury but from overestimating how much homework I could haul home to grade over the previous Christmas break. Oops. My bad.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I recently asked Mama Bore if she remembered what had caused me to be such a pathetic looking bawl baby during the season to be jolly. I’d always assumed that big brother Beans had ripped off the doll’s wig or attacked it in some other malicious manner. Or maybe I just didn’t like the clodhopper shoes I was wearing.
“Oh, you were just tired and didn’t want your picture taken. Your father was determined he was going to get it, anyway,” Mom explained.
That’s sort of a ho-hum, boring explanation, so I think I’ll re-write history and go with the doll assault story, instead. A girl has to have some drama in her life, even if she is just two years old.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
This isn’t the original Santa that shared my childhood. Mama Bore glued him back together after he took a nasty spill and eventually gave him to my younger brother, the out of control, crazed choreographer. She missed him so much (Santa, not my brother!) that a few years ago I found another on eBay and got it for her. Then I later found a third toe dancing Santa, the one in the picture, and snagged it up for myself.
He costs a lot more than he did in the late 1950s, so my Santa is treated with care. No wild spinning parties. Every once in a while I have him do a little toe dance--but if he becomes dizzy, an inner ear infection is to blame, not I.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
“You’re going to need to turn back,” he told me. “A semi carrying hazardous materials has flipped off the road up ahead and you probably can’t get through. It’ll be safer to take the back roads into town.”
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
10 REALLY DUMB CHRISTMAS JOKES
He became Crisp Kringle
Give him the sack
He had low elf-esteem
Because he’s always tight with a buck
He gets Claus-trophobia
Monday, December 8, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
No one was threatening to sue UNC, but apparently there had been complaints from both overly concerned library employees and patrons. Now, if people are bitching about a Christmas tree, then they must be totally miserable, self-serving Scrooge-niks who have nothing better to do than find something petty to gripe about. So, they pick on trees! Well, as Charlie Brown and his gang of Christmas pageant-eers would say, “Good grief!!!”
Friday, December 5, 2008
BB has told me how his mother loved music and how, when he was the only child left at home, the two of them would royally annoy his father when on vacations, singing duets while ol’ Dad was trying to navigate the highways. They would use fake operatic voices, joining in with whatever was on the car radio, making a country song sound like a classic aria, with some sour notes thrown in for good measure. Decades later, he’ll demonstrate their style, a piercing vibrato followed with laughter.