REACHING FOR THE REMOTE

I typically tune into "The Today Show" on NBC each weekday morning, but that habit came to end this morning when I turned on the TV and was assaulted by Chris Brown's so-called singing, as part of the Today Summer Concert Series.

Brown has an actual court record for assault, so it should have come as no surprise to me than he was killing my ears.  He was convicted of the crime in 2009 after whipping up on his then-girlfriend, Rhianna. This morning in New York City, however, all was forgiven, as hundreds of young gals were swooning to his every word---whatever they were.  I couldn't understand anything that was coming out of his mouth because he was performing what I think is called the acoustic style.  It sounds sort of metallic-like and is a good way to cover up for a weak singer who basically can't carry a tune but has a sexy body to shake on the stage--as in Chris Brown.

I couldn't get to the remote control on the coffee table quickly enough.  Bam!  "CBS This Morning," here I come!  What a relief!  And what a nice surprise because the guest being interviewed was that cute little Adam Richman from "Man vs. Food" and he was talking about a new show he's got on The Travel Channel called "The Best Sandwich in America."  It sort of sounds like it will be the Miss America Pageant of sandwiches and I, for one, plan to become its biggest fan.  "I'll have the Grilled Mediterranean Turkey on Rye, please."

Eat your heart out, Chris Brown, you butt-twitching little twit!  I'll have a great sandwich over your ridiculous excuse for singing any time!  CBS rocks!