MONSTER BASH

Wowza!  Last night, after Big Bore and I gave up on the Presidential Debate, we witnessed an even gorier mess by changing the channel to TCM and watching House of Dracula.  

This 1945 offering featured not only a mad scientist, but also Dracula, Frankenstein, Wolfman, a female Igor-type named Nina the Nurse, and another nurse, the seductive piano-playing Melissa. Be still my monstrous heart! What a classic!

As the story opens, Dr. Edelmann is trying to find a way to dissolve the hump on lovely Nina's bulging back, when who should show up in the house but Dracula, wanting to be de-vampired. "Can you help me, doctor?" Of course. Via a series of blood transfusions, he'll replace Drac's blood-thirsty blood with his own  mad doctor blood. 

And in the course of transfusion #1, who else should show up at the door but the Wolfman.  Like Drac, he's weary of preying on people and he wants to be normal again. "Can you help me, doctor?"  Hmmm.  Dr. E. is not so confident about this one and tells Wolfman he'll need to wait until the next full moon--at which point, a depressed and desperate Wolfie throws himself off a cliff into the raging sea.

But wait! There are caves in the area where Wolfman jumped, so maybe he's still alive. Let's go see. The two nurses lower Dr. E. with a pulley system, he gets to the cave, and there is Wolfie, still alive, AND someone else. Who can it be? Why, it's Frankenstein, of course! Let's take him home to the lab via this convenient tunnel system.  

And it just gets goofier from there--especially when Dracula messes with the blood transfusion tubing and ends up putting HIS blood into Dr. Edelmann's veins.  Seems Drac isn't really all that serious about changing his nefarious ways, especially when Nurse Melissa's piano playing seduces him.  

Will Nurse Nina be cured of her humpback?  Will Nurse Melissa become the Bride of Dracula?  Will the Wolfman and Frankenstein become gay lovers?  Will Dr. Edelmann get hit with a malpractice suit?  I got so wrapped up in it all, that I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the credits were rolling. Damn!  

Until I see the end of this masterpiece, there is no official Flaming Bore flame rating.  I'll just rate it N for Nuts.