OUT OF A CANNON

I think the reason my great neph Brandon Matthew (I guess that's his name, although I've never called him that) is nicknamed Boomer is because he always seems to be a blast of energy in motion. He especially seems to enjoy challenging me whenever I have a camera in my hands. If I say, "Sit still and smile for the camera," he delights in running around or hiding his face. At his house he has a special race track from the living room, into the kitchen, through the bathroom, to the hallway, and back---with sometimes a rest stop in a bedroom just for good measure.

Somehow, I caught him in the act a few days ago as he was flying through the living room. The camera shutter must have been set at warp speed because he's not the blur that I usually get. Gotcha this time!

ATTACK OF THE TWO-HEADED BOY

Well, once again I have tried to take pictures of the little ones, and once again I have not been prepared for the unexpected. This was supposed to be a picture of 4-year-old Boomer by himself, but Baby Sweet William dashed into the viewfinder right as the release button went off. Boomer thought it was pretty funny that it appears his head is growing out of William's shoulder. Retakes were few and far between because some dumbo photographer forgot to recharge her camera battery. Oops! Maybe next time around.....

COMPUTER RAGE

The past few days we've been watching two of "Jeopardy's" top brainiacs compete against a computer named Watson, one of IBM's creations, and Big Bore is in a ball of snit (as in agitation, and not a ball of snot) because the computer is kicking ass...big time.

"The next thing you know we'll be electing a computer for president," he grumbled. "This is like some 'Twilight Zone' movie." As in scary.

"It's just another example of how Big Brother is watching," he continued in Orwellian authority. "Computers are going to be able to take over the world."

He was especially upset that the "Jeopardy" audience was responding to Watson.

"They're clapping for a damned computer! What's wrong with them?" he raged on.

Tomorrow is the last day Watson will be on the show--and not a minute too soon. It's rather boring watching this computer rattle out the correct answers in record speed. I much prefer having three human brains compete against each other. And Big Bore can calm down and quit sounding like a grumpy old man...at least from 4:30 to 5 PM, anyway.

LADY GAG ME

One of last night's "60 Minutes" segments featured an interview with pop icon (?) Lady Gaga, and I guess I really must be showing my age because I couldn't find even a tiny bit of anything interesting about her. My guess is that all the outrageous outfits and stage theatrics (including fireworks blowing out of her ass and breasticles) are supposed to cover up the fact that she has no actual talent. Of course, she's a Grammy-winning millionaire, so what do I know? If Lady Gaga wants to go with the Gag Factor, so be it. In the meantime, would somebody please toss that girl a mop and clean her up?

MAD ABOUT BIEBER

The latest MAD magazine cover features a cross between the mag's mascot Alfred E. Neuman and teen heartthrob Justin Bieber. This is what happens when the comic gene pool gets mixed up...and I love it!

I became a MAD fan many decades ago when Brother Beans brought them home during his rebellious teen years. Mama Bore didn't seem to care. At least we were reading...something. I enjoyed the sharp satire and the parodies on movies and TV shows. The writers had a great way of poking fun---but not maliciously.

Personally, I think the Biebermeister will be pleased with this cover. I've seen him on a number of TV shows, and he seems to have a good sense of humor about himself. Why should he care if MAD dogs his hair, book, movie, and music? He's a teen millionaire who is laughing all the way to the bank, joining Alfred E. in his mantra of, "What, me worry?"

If I wasn't so damned old, I'd become a Biebot, join his fan club, and start a scrapbook on him---just like I did when the Beatles were invading America. Making the cover of MAD is just another feather in his hairy little cap. You go, JB!

WISHFUL THINKING

To heck with all my snow pictures! Today I'm posting springtime in my zinnia garden. Soon? Maybe? A woman has the right to dream the impossible dream. Right? TGIF, and here's to the weekend thaw!

CHANGE

Excuse me for moaning, but I HATE CHANGE!!!! Recently I had to purchase a new computer before the old one croaked, and I've had a bitch of a time making the adjustment. The worst was getting my Internet and email to work. I was on the phone with my ISP last night for 45 minutes trying to get all the new connection codes entered. In the middle of it all, my tinnitus kicked in and it's been a buzzy mess ever since.

The Internet works the same, but the email is something different, no longer Outlook Express. This one is the "new and improved" email that has a menu that would rival anything at a 5-star restaurant. I don't need all these options. It took me 3o minutes just to figure out where the address book is located because it's no longer called an address book. Sonuva.....

Big Bore keeps telling me I will get used to my new computer---if I don't first go insane from the tinnitus. CHANGE STINKS.