In yesterday’s big city newspaper there was a sidebar story about a Wichita couple who had been robbed of a wallet, jewelry, and shoes. But this was not any usual, ho-hum crime scene. The victims, a male and female, both age 44, were inside a downtown Dumpster engaged in “an intimate moment,” according to the police report, when their belongings were taken.
Now, I’ve heard of lovers picking strange places for their sexual activities, but a Dumpster takes the cake, hands down. I don’t even want to think about how unromantic such a setting would be. What was wrong with these people? Were they so hot and bothered that they couldn’t wait to find a more appropriate place to have their “intimate moment?” Like the express line at a Quik Trip, maybe?
I asked my friend Da Judge if such nutso behavior is legal, and he said it probably was okay, as long as the lovebirds were out of public view. At least he was unaware of anything in the statutes about Dumpster “intimacy” being against the law. I trust Da Judge's judicious ruling. He actually is a judge.
So, there you have it, folks. Next time you get in the “mood” while you’re out and about, just head on down to the nearest Dumpster in your community and have at it....but be sure to keep your wallet, jewelry, and shoes in a safe place.
2 comments:
I found this story baffling. I had a friend from Iowa call and ask if I had been robbed, saying she had heard a Wichita couple had been robbed whilst canoodling. She hadn't heard the WHOLE story, obviously.
Seriously - a Dumpster?
I heard that even Jay Leno made a joke of it. Everyone was wondering why in the hell they told the cops the TRUTH!? I think the punch line did have to do with "dirty". And we wonder why everyone else in America thinks we're such big hillbillies here in Kansas!
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