CAUSE AND EFFECT

(WARNING: If you're not in the mood for whining, skip this blog and go back to yesterday's.)

Today is the end of August, 2010. I am sooooooo happy. When this month started, I had great hopes. Finally. This would be the month when I would spend less than my pension check, I told myself. No dipping into savings. Well, shut my mouth! William Faulkner wrote the book Light in August. I’m changing the title to Fright in August.

As you may recall from an earlier blog this month, it all started with a frightening $188.00 water bill, over three times the norm for mid-summer. We’d had barrels of rain in July, so I knew this total couldn’t be from watering a thirsty lawn. Here’s the rounded-off damage:

Plumbing bill to fix the water leak: $450.00
Back hoe bill to dig the hole to fix the water leak: $250.00
Carpenter’s bill to rip up the front porch to fix the water leak and then put it back together: $470.00
Another plumbing bill to fix the clogged sewage line: $80.00 (Oh, yes! After the water leak was repaired, everything that went down the toilet started gurgling up the bathtub and bathroom sink.)

Then, my body rebelled:

Chiropracter and doctor office visits, co-pay: $50.00
My share of three medical bills that insurance wouldn’t pay: $65.00

To add insult to financial injury, my wacky tinnitus got wackier (for free!) and Fluffy got tapeworms ($100.00).

I’m ready to rip August off the calendar and flush it down the toilet--except doing so might cause another sewage problem, so I’ll play it safe and just toss it in the trash.

Remember the song “Tomorrow” from the musical Annie? Well, I’ve switched words: “September, September! I love ya, September! It’s only a DAY AWAY!!!”