DRESSING IT UP

Last night I hooked up Sweet Neighbor Girl to a Seventeen magazine website, and life in the 'hood will never be the same.  It's all about dressing up the stars...Taylor Swift, Demi Levato, Jennifer Lawrence, and seven other glam gals...with a closet bursting with clothes and accessories.

"Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!" she started foaming at the mouth when I showed her my online discovery.  "I can't believe it!"  You'd think I'd found the Holy Grail and Ark of the Covenant all rolled up in one.

She figured out how to conduct the little dress-up game in no time flat, so I hopped on my stationary bike, grabbed a book, and we went about our separate activities...but not for long.  Her imagination quickly kicked in.

"Mom, it's the first day of school.  What should I wear?" she asked in a high-pitched, Valley Girl-type voice.

"I don't care," I answered back to her.  "Just be sure to follow the dress code."  I went on pedaling my bike.

"How's this?" she asked.

I took a peek. "Amanda, you can't go strapless to school!" I said, mortified at her choice.

"But, Mom!" she whined.  "All the other girls will be dressed like this." (Then in her own real voice:  "Do I sound like a teenager?")

Next up was football game wear.  "I'm ready to go to the game, Mom. How do I look?"

"Your toes and tummy are going to freeze in that outfit, young lady.  Put some boots and a jacket on."

"But, Mom!!"  she whined again.

"Now!!" I ordered.

So, she added a jacket and was ready to leave for the make-believe game.  "I'll see you in the morning, Mom."

"Your curfew is 10 PM!!"

This ridiculous banter went on and on through all ten stars and also including outfits for picture day, prom, and girls night out.  Finally, Big Bore, who was trying to watch TV in the next room, had heard enough to at least have his curiosity piqued.  

"What's going on in here?" he asked, entering the computer/exercise room.

"It's called FASHION, Jeff," Sweet Neighbor Girl said, dryly, "and you don't know a thing about it."

"Yeah, Jeff.  It's called fashion," I added.  He shook his head, speechless, and went back to his TV show.

Finally, it started getting dark outside, so I decided to break up the little dress-up game and scoot our diva on home.  But first, I wrote down the Seventeen website for her so she could continue styling for the stars for as long as she wanted on her own family computer.  For some reason, though, I don't think it's going to be nearly as much fun without having a grumpy audience.