Friday, October 2, 2009

BACK OUT


Yesterday morning as I was preparing to take Critter to her vet appointment, I bent down to pick up my billfold from the bedroom floor and my lower back muscles threw a fit. Wrench!!! Sonuva…..!!! With the help of Big Bore and the vet staff, Critter and I got through the exam, both of us whining. The doctor sent us home with medicine for the cat, but he wouldn’t put me put of my misery and shoot me, so I spent the rest of the day reclining--until I HAD to go to the grocery store.

You see, Thursdays are what I call “Old Ladies Day” at Howard’s IGA. Customers 60 and over get a 10 percent discount on their purchases, excluding lottery tickets and tobacco products. God forbid if I would miss out on saving a few bucks. Big Bore normally does our grocery shopping, but since he's nowhere near 60, he doesn't qualify for "Old Ladies Day." Back pain be damned, I was going shopping!

So, I made out my list, yelled for my caretaker/gardener/chef/ chauffeur, and it was off to Howard’s--after 6 PM because I figured there would be fewer shoppers at that time to gape at me hunched over with my butt sticking out. Big Bore accompanied me inside to pick up what I pointed out. This worked well until it came to getting 10 cups of yogurt that were on sale for $4.00. This cheap stuff was just haphazardly thrown into a bottom shelf bin, not lined up prettily at eye level like the other, more expensive, brands. This wouldn’t be so bad if I was willing to take just any old cup of yogurt but, no, I have to be Miss Picky.

First off, not all yogurt is created equal. There’s Low Fat and then there’s No Fat. I want the latter because it has about 100 fewer calories. The containers, however, look similar, so a close inspection is required. Next, I will not eat certain flavors, like lime, cherry, pina colada, and strawberry banana. Poor Big Bore is on hands and knees struggling to find what I specifically want, while I’m directing traffic around his ample ass because Howard’s aisles only go one-way. Five or 10 minutes later, we’re ready to check out, get the 10 percent discount, and go home.

My aching back hopes “Old Ladies Day” goes much better next week. I'm not sure if my back-up man wants to go back with me.

 
 
 

2 comments:

Dusti said...

lol. Not to laugh at you while you're suffering or anything, but I did get a good grin out of that mental picture of BB shopping for you! Such devotion!! :-)

Kayle said...

Been there -- dont that! But mine was a grape from the refrig