MY CRAP TOUR

The other day I was walking around the school track when I gazed to the west and thought, "Wow! It's being cleaned up!" The salvage yard adjacent to the parking lot was no longer stacked sky high with heavy metal. What's going on here? Yes, the picture above still looks mighty messy, but if this improvement keeps up I may be forced to remove it from my list of Top Five Crap Holes in Eureka. About six years ago the Student Council planted trees along the fence line in an attempt to hide the eyesore. Most of the trees bit the dust, and the ones that survived have been slow to grow. I figure it will take about 100 years before they are big enough to do much good, but maybe, just maybe, the salvage yard will continue to come clean.

There are plenty of other places in town, though, to keep my crappy places list alive and well. Big Bore and I first noticed the junk pile below almost a year ago. We figured someone was fixing up the house, but apparently the only task that got accomplished was removing all the crap inside and dumping it in the front yard for all to enjoy. I call this a Crap Transfer. Every time we do a drive-by, Big Bore asks, "Doesn't this violate some city law?" Apparently not.

This next house is caddy-corner from the previous place. What a great neighborhood! The property value must be soaring!

Some crap locations here in town are legal and thriving. This one is a business a few blocks from our house. It has a quaint, sweet name, but we call it Crap Corner. Whenever guests are coming to Casa de la Flaming Bore for the first time, I just tell them to look for the 8-foot Rusty Rooster along the highway. You can't miss it! We think all the metal farm animals are procreating in the yard overnight. There just keep getting more and more them every day!

My final Top Five Crap Hole is actually one of the town's historic sites: the "Eureka! I have found it!" spot. It signifies where the town was founded back in 1857 near a spring. The marker is situated along what is lovingly known by the locals as "Turd Creek." When I was recently taking one of the high school foreign exchange students on a quick tour of town landmarks, her reponse to this one was, "It is not very nice." Ah, come on. What's there not to like about a washed up tire and trash?

Eureka! I have found it! And, alas, it isn't so pretty.