LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM

When my great neph Bo was here last week, I took him to Cabaret Old Town in the City to see the wacky live presentation of Kyle and Monte, The Musical, The Men, The Myth, The Medleys. I first saw Kyle and Monte in action at Cabaret about 13 years ago when they were two of the beauty queen wannabes in Pageant. They were hilarious, especially Monte and his talent performance as a roller skating accordion player. Anyway, I was hooked on the guys and have seen them on stage many times. This was Bo's first K and M experience. He's 17 now. He can deal with it.

During the course of last Friday night’s musical extravaganza, Kyle and Monte would take a time-out for some audience participation called, “What’s In Your Purse?” The guys would ask for a particular item and the first person who came to the stage with said item would win a prize. The first item they requested was, “A mint!!!” And, guess who had several rolls of mints in her purse? The Flaming Bore, of course.

I raised my peppermint Breathsavers into the air, and Kyle and Monte waved me down to the stage. Bo was also encouraging me to get there before anyone else. So, I took off---only to forget that the booth where we were sitting was on a platform. Have you ever walked straight on, not anticipating a step down? Sure you have. The landing is clumsy. And mine was so clumsy that I basically propelled myself into the back of a woman sitting nearby.

Thank god I somehow managed to stay upright and got to the stage on time to be declared the winner….of a one-of-a-kind Kyle and Monte key ring!!! Hooray!! It is so totally cool. Wait till the Library Lady gets her eyeballs on this, I thought. She is a Kyle and Monte fan, too. Monte once dripped sweat on her while singing as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and she was in heaven. She would be so totally jealous to see my big prize that I almost broke a leg to win.

Well, the rest of the evening was klutz-free. Bo loved the show and the cheesecake and the strawberry coladas and was so sorry I didn’t win the grand prize of the evening, which was sort of like a sandwiched lap dance from Kyle and Monte, fully dressed in cowboy regalia, complete with black and white cowskin chaps.

The show has been held over through July17th, so there’s still time for you to see Kyle and Monte sing and dance and run around in a frenzy. Be sure to take along some mints and watch your step when you dash to the stage.