“This is crack meteorologist The Flaming Bore reporting live via weather feed from west of Eureka, Kansas this afternoon, along with my trusty sidekick driver Big Bore. There’s a vicious looking storm brewing to the west of us and we’re approaching it now in our Mobile 12 Saturn Weather Tracker like idiots instead of being at home where it’s safe. There’s lightning streaking all around us and it’s just starting to rain. We have an excellent vantage point here in the Flint Hills and can see the front rolling in. Batten down the hatches, matey.---F***!!!! That lightning was close!!”“You can’t talk like that over the airwaves,” BB advises.
“Sorry, folks. The Flaming Bore just got a bit startled. The storm is right on top of us and, quite frankly, I don’t care so much for lightning. Sonuvab****! There it goes again! I’m gonna roll up my window! That hurt my ears!”
“You aren’t very professional with your reporting,” says BB, steering slowly over the dirt road, fighting to see through the windshield wipers, which are working in overdrive.
“I apologize again to my listening audience. But I hate lightning! I think we should turn around our Mobile 12 Saturn Storm Tracker and head back to town. --Holy crap!! Did you see that?! More lightning!”
“The wind sure is blowing us around! We just drove through a tornado!” BB proclaims, finally showing some sign of concern.
“Oh, we did not. We’d be blown over in a ditch if we were in the middle of a tornado. We’re okay, folks. Big Bore is just kidding.”
“No, I’m not! Feel how the car is shaking!”
“That’s just wind. That’s not a tornado. But, just in case, maybe our listeners should head for cover and get to their basements as quickly as possible. Only experienced storm chasers such as ourselves should be out here in the middle of this mess. Run for your lives! Now! Damn!!!! Lightning is so scary! I wanna go home! ---We now return you to your regular programming. This is The Flaming Bore, west of Eureka in the middle of a downpour, signing out. ”
“Whose brilliant idea was this, anyway?”
3 comments:
LMAO!!! Sounds like an adventure!
Well, when we finally made it home, the tornado sirens were wailing, so we headed to the basement for a while. Cats wouldn't come with us. They are the smart ones.
shades of your old tv/radio reporting days!
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