HOT AIR CALLING

(WARNING: Do not read the following if you think Newt Gingrich is the next best thing since sliced bologna.)

Political blow-hard Newt Gingrich called me yesterday. I normally hang up immediately on taped campaign spiels, but I decided to listen to this one so I'd have something ridiculous to blog about today. I let Newt blabber on and on about his political experience, his genius 21st Century Contract of America, and his superior debating skills. Blah, blah, blah.

Big Bore, who was in the kitchen nearby, became curious why I was on the phone for so long, not saying a word. "Who's on the line?" he asked.

"Oh, it's Newt Gingrich."

"Who's he? Oh, the president of Dollar General?" he continued asking.

"No," I laughed. "He's that bag of wind running for President." BB lost interest and went back to his baking.

When Newt finally ran out of breath and his speech wound down, he asked if I'd stay on the line to speak with one of his assistants. Well, heck yes I would! How often do I get the opportunity to bitch about canned phone calls that interrupt my afternoon? Bring 'em on!!

So I hung on....and hung on....and hung on the line some more. I even read a chapter of a John Grisham novel while hanging on. Big Bore kept track of the time. "Twenty-five minutes!" And not once during that precious time did a Newt Gingrich assistant come on the line. Nor did a recording come on to even thank me for continuing to wait or to please continue to hold. Finally, I got bored and hung up the receiver. Rats!!

But that is not the end of the story. Oh, no. I wasn't going to let the matter drop. I went directly to my computer, found the Newt Gingrich for President in 2012 website, and looked around for a "contact" link. I thought I'd be helpful and let Newt know that his able assistant never came on the line to speak with me. I found the link, ironically, right below a blurb that said (and I am not making this up), "Newt: Just Like (Ronald) Reagan, I Will Tell the Truth."

Well, I beg your pardon, Newt Gingrich, but you just lied to me on the telephone no more than thirty minutes ago when you promised that an assistant would be on the line to talk to me if I held on forever.

So, I clicked on "contact" and wrote Newt an email taking him to task for leading me on AND annoying me with his phone call in the first place. Plus, I politely told him that I would not be voting for him. So sorry. After I sent the email, an auotmated message came on the screen thanking me for the contact and telling me that a response would be forthcoming. Well, that's been about 18 hours ago and I'm still waiting.

If Newt Gingrich would run our country anything like his stupid telephone campaign, then we're in big trouble.