LET THERE BE LIGHT

Today's crack literature lesson comes from William Shakespeare, Act III of HAMLET.

The evil King Claudius is watching a "dumb show" (dumb, as in silent) put on by The Players, a travelling group of actors who have stopped in Elsinore to perform a gig at the castle. What Claudius, the nasty clod, doesn't know is that his sly nephew Prince Hamlet has directed The Players to slip in a knavish scene, wherein a king is poisoned by a dastardly deed-doer who wants to be with his queen and take over the throne. What a revolting development THAT is!

Well, it just so happens that this scenario is EXACTLY the way in which Claudius, himself, became king! He poisoned his poor brother, King Hamlet, then wooed Queen Gertrude, the silly goose, and married her. "Frailty, thy name is woman" for sure! And this all happened so quickly that the leftover food from the funeral dinner was still fresh enough to be recycled at the wedding. Double revolting! "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark," indeed! And it's not the food!

Now, how did Prince Hamlet know what to tell The Players to act out? Get this. The ghost of his daddy, the king, had told him the circumstances of his murder and directed his son to get "revenge, most sweet." Since the young man wasn't sure if the apparition was real or just a figment of his crazed imagination, he created the special scene that he then had The Players perform--and did it EVER "catch the conscience of the king." As Claudius sits on his throne watching the royal murder being acted out, he starts to sweat bullets and grows faint. He rises and staggers through the audience shouting, "GIVE ME SOME LIGHT!!!

Ah-hah! Prince Hamlet has his evidence! The rest of the story, my friends, is bloody literary history, with a bit more poison poured in for good measure. The Bard of Avon at his longest and best. To read or not to read? I say: read, but you can easily skip the parts about Fortinbras of Norway and not miss a step. And skip most of the HAMLET movie starring Mel Gibson while you're at it. --That's about all the light I care to shed on this subject. Go forth, have a great weekend, and remember to stay away from all royalty bearing poisonous swords.