A KEY ISSUE

Once a week, Big Bore and I visit the local recycling center with a car-trunkful of newspapers, plastic bottles, cans, etc. It is our little way of being good citizens.

I was the driver during yesterday's trip, which is unusual for us, as he is typically the captain of our ship. I'd been doing some other errands solo, however, so when he joined me to go recycling, I just remained behind the wheel of the car. Bad decision. After we made our deposit, I had a bleak announcement.

"Oh, crap! I didn't leave the keys in the ignition. Do you have them?"

"No. Did you check your pockets?"

"Yeah. They aren't there." I was looking for three keys on a 4-inch-long ring. How could I lose that? "You know, when I was dumping the plastic bottles, I thought I heard a different sound. Maybe they slipped in the bin."

"Well, let's go check," Big Bore said, shaking his head.

I lose my keys around the house on a daily basis, and I could sense his exasperation, but he was trying to keep his cool, which wasn't difficult since he didn't have on a coat and it was REALLY cold out. When we'd left home, I had suggested he bundle up, but he'd poo-poo'ed the idea. The job wasn't going to take all that long, or so he thought.

We started digging through the bottle bin, but no keys. I traced my steps around to the glass bin and back to the car, while he kept excavating plastic. Of course, the spare car key wasn't with us. It was at home, 12 freezing blocks away. I knew who would be chosen to make the miserable trek--the dumbo wearing the coat who had lost the keys! A no-brainer.

Before heading off into the northwest wind, I decided to make another search of the car, this time looking farther under the driver's seat. Ah ha! The lost was now found! It crossed my mind not to say anything about it for a few more minutes, just so Big Bore could enjoy the cold in his

t-shirt a little bit longer, but I decided not to be that mean since he hadn't called me any names...yet...or bopped me on the head with an empty Pepsi bottle.

"I found them!!!!!!" I shouted victoriously.

We laughed all the way home.