Saturday, August 8, 2009

I'M OUT OF THE CLOSET


Long before he ever hooked up with Angelina Jolie, and even before he was married to Jennifer Aniston, Brad “Be Still My Heart” Pitt belonged to me. In 1994, he showed up in my walk-in closet in the form of a 24- x 36-inch colored poster of him portraying Tristan Ludlow in the movie Legends of the Fall. Trystan/Brad was a steaming young buck who raised the hormonal levels of all the pathetically tragic women he encountered, including me.

Now, I originally shared this closet with my then-husband, who was given absolutely no say-so about Brad gazing deeply into the eyes of anyone who happened to bop in--dressed or not. The ex should have known then that the marriage was in deep trouble, except Brad actually took the place of another hunk who had been hanging on the same wall for seven years--Patrick Swayze. Yes, my original closet pin-up stud was that hip grinding Dirty Dancing dandy himself. His poster, circa 1987, is still underneath the Brad one--so, actually, Patrick is the one who should have been upset about Brad showing up and taking his coveted spot in my fantasy life.

Big Bore doesn’t seem to mind the fact that I have a poster boy lounging sexily in the closet. He’s a bit vague about who he is in the first place. “Oh, is he that gladiator guy in Troy? What’s his name? Brad Pierce?” If BB decides to put up a poster of Angelina Jolie in the closet, though, I’m pitching a fit.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Dang I loved that movie...I would like to inspect your closet a little closer. ;)