NUTTY FOR NINJA

G4 Network aired a "Ninja Warrior" marathon over the weekend, which meant, I'm rather ashamed to say, that Big Bore and I spent waaaaaaay too much time parked in front of the TV the past two days. This show is one of our guilty viewing pleasures. If you haven't seen it, here's the lowdown:

Ninja wannabes are challenged by four levels of obstacle courses that are ridiculously difficult. There are 100 contestants to start with, mostly Japanese and mostly men, and maybe only six or seven make it past the timed Level One. Everyone else crash lands in a water pit. Perhaps three or four will get past Level Two, and only a few, if any, will survive Level Three. Getting to the final level is rare, and only two competitors in 12 years have actually completed it to become (ooooooh, aaaaaah) Ninja Warrior!!!! A Japanese sportscaster narrates the action, and there are subtitles provided so the American viewer can follow along.

Why Big Bore is nutty for Ninja is beyond me, but my interest in it goes back to my childhood, when I'd create obstacle courses in our yard. The Ninth Street version of Ninja Warriors consisted of two side-by-side courses that began in the front yard and ended close to the alley out back. The obstacles were whatever I could drag out of the garage: lawn chairs, bikes, buckets, wagons, water hose, etc. Two competitors would run simultaneously over their barriers, to the finish--leaping airborn at the sandpile, grabbing the swingset crossbar, and making a pendulum move to the other side. But, watch out for the clothesline!!!

My big bare feet took on every boy in the neighborhood. I didn't always win, but all good sports know that the victory comes from within. And, anyway, a true Ninja Warrior does not whine, cry, or kick sand in the face of her competitor. There will always be another day to put one's skill to the test. See you at the starting line.