There was absolutely no doubt which honey wannabe Ben was going to kick off "The Bachelor" last night. (Yes, I still watch the eternally insipid show although, to my credit, I switch the remote back and forth to other programs so as not to overdose on the insanity.)You knew the stars were not in poor Jamie's favor on a group date when she couldn't keep Ben engaged in a one-on-one conversation--mainly because slutty Courtney was in a background wading pool, strutting back and forth in a teeny white bikini, touching herself all over. Yeeech! Of course, Ben was mezmerized and only had eyes for the skank-ball. Jamie? Jamie who?
Even worse, in a last ditch effort to get Ben's attention before the "Rose Ceremony," Jamie straddled him (uncomfortably) and then directed him how to kiss her. The whole instruction scene sounded like they were back in the 6th grade. "Open your mouth," Jamie told him, mid-smooch. She giggled, he busted up laughing, embarrassed for her--there was no romance to it at all. Jamie just kept rambling. "I HAVE kissed before," Ben told her. He's just not into her. Host Chris Harrison could have easily called this, "The most awkward moment in Bachelor history--hands down!"
So, needless to say, there was no drama in who wasn't going to get a rose and an invitation to stay on the show for another week of "amazing" dates. "I'm sorry, Jamie. Say your goodbyes" and get your pathetic self out of here.
"Where did I go wrong?" she sniffled as she was driven away. A question best answered by that great poetess of love, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, "...let me count the ways."
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