A WORD TO THE WISE

After meeting with Mama Bore's taxman in Fredonia today, Big Bore and I decided to take the long way home by going to Independence. It had been ages since we'd been to the park and zoo there, and we were so happy to once again chat with all the critters we have come to love. The great weather brought them all (well, not the bears) out of their hidey-holes. There's nothing like a trio of slutty, sunbathing spider monkeys to get me laughing.

But, alas, it was finally time to head home, again the long way, and we'd probably gotten about 30 miles down the road when an SUV behind us honked and pulled us over. What was wrong now? Had a roaming peacock from the zoo hitched a ride on top of the car? Big Bore rolled down the window; the other driver--a gal probably in her 20s, rolled down hers and shouted, "I think I'm lost!"

"Where are you headed?" BB asked.

"Tulsa."

Oh, lord. She WAS lost. The Highway 75 turn-off to her home in Tulsa was way back at the west end of Independence.

"Do you have a map?" BB asked.

"No, I don't have one," she said. "I'm using my GPS system."

"Well, that's your problem," I laughed and took out our map from the glove box to give to her. We showed her where she went wrong, and I then I told her, "If you drive past Wal-Mart, you've missed the turn-off again, so go back west a few miles."

We told her to keep the map, turn off the %$#!@! GPS, wished her good luck, and sent her on her way.

"Well, we've done our good deed for the day," I told Big Bore as we started back on our drive home. "If it wasn't for us, that poor girl would have ended up in the Twilight Zone."

So here's some expert advice from The Flaming Bore, world traveler: Never rely on a stupid GPS system (aka: computer) to find your way home. Get a hand-held map, open it up, and read it! Even a naughty spider monkey knows that!! Happy trails.