ATTACK

I was the victim of a home invasion late yesterday afternoon. Sweet Neighbors #1 and #2 maneuvered a sneak attack onto the front porch of Casa de la Flaming Bore, rang the doorbell, and announced that they were ambushing me with a 15-Minute Makeover!  Oh, the horror!

#1 was in charge of fixing my hair, while #2 did the make-up. I closed my eyes and bravely sucked it up while they giggled and gussied me up to their satisfaction.

"You look just like a teenager!" they smiled, admiring their work.

"Yeah, right," I answered.  "A teenage MONSTER."

When the time limit was done, the girls escorted me inside to the bathroom mirror.

"I don't think I want to see this," I said, feigning fear.

"Yes you do!!!  You're gonna love it!"

"Would I be able to go to the grocery store like this and NOT scare off everyone or get laughed at?"

"Sure!!!!"

One look and I grimaced.  My hair was in loose pigtails, banded in hot pink. My bangs had disappeared, as though they'd been rolled back like window blinds. The eye shadow, pink and blue, made me look like I'd been the biggest loser in a boxing match.  The lip gloss was fine...mainly because I made #2 promise NOT to use the dark burgundy red.  

As soon as they were finished with their serial assault and left the premises, I pulled out the pigtails and took a wash cloth to my face.

"Those girls sure do love you," Big Bore said from his easy chair.

"No. They just love playing with hair and make-up, and I'm an easy target."

If they ever come over with scissors, remind me not to open the door.