BEAR FACTS

Grizzly and black bears live at Glacier National Park.  I don't know how many, but rangers say "a lot" and that bear sightings are common. Hikers are advised to carry bear spray (we did) and are given all sorts of tips on what to do if a bear shares a trail with humans.

Now, some park visitors are all gung-ho about having a close encounter of the bear kind, but not The Flaming Bore. No-no-no. I'd just as soon not have the pleasure.  Oh, we saw a grizzly dashing up a hillside, which was cool because we were safely tucked away in a parking lot at the time...and we came across a large deposit of "scat" (the nice word for you-know-what) along a lakeside trail, which was not cool.

But nothing quite prepared me for a morning near miss outside our cabin. I was packing up the car for our daily journey into the wild when a man staying in a cabin down the hill a bit started yelling, "There's a bear!"

The sun was blinding me, so I couldn't tell which way he was looking. After a few more shouts, I turned his direction and yelled, "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes! There was a bear just to the right of your cabin, but my yelling scared it off!"

"Well, thank God you saw it instead of me! I would have peed my pants!"  Not to mention been so totally clueless about my surroundings that I would have invited the bear into the car for a ride.

About that time, Big Bore came out of the cabin to see what the commotion was all about.

"There was a bear next to our cabin, but I didn't see it."

"Well, that's no surprise. You wouldn't notice a bear if it was standing right in front of you."

"I guess I won't be roaming by myself around the cabin anymore," I said.  "Rats."

Next time I go to a national park that is heavily populated with bears, I'm going during the hibernation season.