HANDS UP!!

My old high school pal Colorado Bruce recently enlightened me about a product I never knew existed--the Vibram Five-Finger!! Now, when I first heard the name, I thought it must be some new-fangled sex toy, but Bruce said I was strange and referred me to the website, legitimate, which sells specialized footwear.

Here’s part of the sales pitch: “….we recommend wearing Vibram Five-Fingers for exercise, play, and for fun. Stimulating the muscles in your feet and lower legs will not only make you stronger and healthier, it improves your balance, agility, and proprioception.” What the heck is proprioception? It doesn’t sound like something I want improved. I looked up the word in the dictionary. It has something to do with the positioning of one’s body. Well, I’ve long known that mine is out of whack, so I continued looking at the website.

Basically, the VF-F is a rubbery looking shoe/glove, with an arch and defined toes. Colorado Bruce is using it for jogging. Supposedly some Harvard hotshot helped to invent it. They look too complicated for me to strap on and take off, let alone walk around in. And they also look like they’d make my feet sweaty. I don’t like my toes having hot flashes. If I want to “experience that carefree feeling of being barefooted,” heck, I’ll just save myself 70 bucks and go barefooted!!