A MISFIRE (AKA: "OH, FUUUUUUUUDGE!")

If I lived in Utah or Arizona, I would be fuming over how their state lawmakers are wasting time. Utah has recently passed legislation to designate the Browning M1911 semiautomatic pistol as the "official state firearm." Arizona may soon be voting on whether or not to designate the Colt revolver as its "official state firearm." What the heck is going on out west? Have they lost their minds?

State flowers and birds and trees are okay, I guess, and I didn't moan too much when Kansas designated the box turtle as its "state reptile" a few years back and the honeybee was declared the "state insect"--although I think ladybugs are cuter. But a firearm? Ridiculous. The sponsor of the Colt legislation in Arizona defended his action saying only 120 seconds were spent working on the bill's creation. Well, I'd say that's about two minutes too damned much.

If the lawmakers in Kansas ever decide to jump on the wagon train and take up arms, I'm going to be screaming all the way to Topeka. The only way I would EVER accept such an assinine idea is if our state designates the "Official Red Ryder 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a Compass in the Stock and This Thing That Tells Time" as our state firearm. Then we could replace our current state motto, "Ad Astra Per Aspera" with "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out" and everyone would be happy.