NOW HEAR THIS

Since Little Bit seemed to be feeling better, and I had shaken off my xanax hangover from a bad night's sleep, I drove out to the high school football field tonight to watch the last half of the game from my car. There's an area south of the stadium where slackers can park. It's not exactly front row seating, but there's a clear view of the scoreboard and the announcer doesn't blow out my goofy ear from this vantage point.

While I watched the action, through a fine mist, and slurped on a cup of coffee, my mind started to wander back about 45 years when I was a member of the Fredonia High School Pep Club, loyally attending every football and basketball game scheduled. God forbid if I missed yelling a single cheer, thus jeopardizing my chances to receive the coveted Pep Club Award at the end of the year.

I suspect my inner ear damage likely got its start during my Pep Club days. There were typically between 70-80 girls in the club and we screamed like there was no tomorrow. Whenever we entered a town during away games, we'd slide down the bus windows and start off with the cheer: "We're from Fredonia! We couldn't be prouder! And if you can't hear us, we'll yell a little louder!" Of course, we got louder and louder and kept it up when entering the opposing team's stadium or gym. If we won the game, and we won a lot, then we left the defeated town the same way we entered, adding the "V-I-C-T-O-R-Y" cheer to the Fredonia pride cheer. The poor bus driver and club sponsors could not have been paid enough to accompany us.

Nowadays, teens are clueless about Pep Clubs, an archaic invention of a time when girls couldn't participate in sports and needed something to do with their excess energy besides making out with their boyfriends. The only kids who know the chants now are the cheerleaders--and even some of them are gee, like, questionable at times.

Louder and prouder? No longer in the game plan.