NIPPLE GATE

Leave it to my dear 88-year-old mother to be on the cutting edge of current events.  Here's what was on her mind when I called her tonight to wish her an early Happy Mother's Day:

"What do you think of that woman on the cover of TIME magazine who was nursing her kid who's almost 4-years old?" she asked me.

In spite of having macular degeneration and being half blind, Mama Bore has selective eyesight. If it's something big in the news or on "Dancing with the Stars," she can see it 10 times over.

"Well, since I've never had kids I'm not really qualified to comment of the breastfeeding issue, but I did think the photographer sensationalized the photo content," I said.  (I feel I can air on opinion on this aspect since I once taught photography.)  "What do you think?  You breastfed five kids."

"Yes, and I COULDN'T WAIT to wean every single one of you!" she said.  "I nursed from 6 to 9 months with you kids.  Who would want to do it for four years?  She's crazy!"

"To each her own," I said, "but I kinda feel sorry for the kid because later in life when he's in school he's going to get teased big time about that cover picture...unless he's home-schooled, of course."

"Well, I saw them on 'The Today Show' and he was clinging on to his mother.  I sure didn't want you kids clinging on to me."

"Yeah, like we just raised ourselves."  Although I have to admit, one of my favorite smart-ass remarks when growing up was:  "I can do it MYSELF!"

I'm not going to get in a big snit about the TIME magazine cover gal and her left boob.  She says she'll let her son decide when he's ready to be weaned.  I just hope she doesn't use that same theory with every aspect of child rearing and allows him to make ALL his decisions. I've seen three-year-old pedaling maniacs who think they are ready to race their Hot Wheels out in the street, but that doesn't mean they should.