My friend Texas Kayle sent me a funny email last weekend about why men are never depressed. It listed around three dozen reasons, and here are just a few: *Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
*The world is your urinal
*Can “do” your nails with a pocket knife
*Mechanics don’t lie to you
*Phone conversations over in 30 seconds flat
After finishing laughing at the list, I decided there were a two more really good reasons why men aren’t depressed. Here they are:
Males do not have to stuff their man boobs into bras. No harness straps digging into their backs. No cross-your-heart discomfort squeezing the life out of them up front. Before I went through menopause, I had such hideous PMS breast pain that I had to wear three bras when I went jogging just to keep my 36Cs from slapping me in the face. Three bras! As if wearing one torture restraint wasn’t bad enough. After menopause the pain stopped, and after retirement the bra wearing stopped most of the time, too. Hallelujah! I’m a new person. Have you ever heard that song, “Free At Last! Free At Last! I thank God I’m Free At Last!” ? Well, I’m bra-free at last and feeling like a depression-free man!
And speaking of menopause, my second additional reason why men aren’t depressed is that they haven’t had to spend about 40 years of their lives using plugs and pads when Auntie Flo makes her monthly visits from hell. I can remember when I first started my period after a summer track team practice in 1963. I was so pissed off because I knew it meant a world of trouble trying to keep the stupid Kotex belt from showing its telltale strappy lines through my stylishly tight shorts and skirts. (You young gals probably are fortunate enough never to have experienced a ridiculous looking Kotex belt. Lucky you!) Thank god I eventually graduated to tampons. But then there was still the incessant worry about popping a leak (am I giving away too much information yet?) And need I say the word, “cramps?” Oh, the agony. Just get me a knife and cut me open right here on the spot. I get depressed just thinking about it! Aaaaaaggghhhhh!
Thanks a lot for the dandy reminder, Kayle! Pass the Prozac.
1 comment:
LMAO! Oh, so true! I was jogging w/ my 3 bras a while back & ran into a male friend, who saw the straps & said, "are you really wearing 3 bras?" Exactly! They have no idea what we have to deal with!
Yet, they still manage to whine so much, as is ;)
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