Ten Reasons Why NBC Will Never Hire Me as an Ice Skating Commentator (overheard in my living room last night during the men’s long program at the Winter Olympics.)1. (Loud gasp) Oh, shit!!! He fell!
2. Well, he kind of ran of gas. But he’s cute.
3. (Another loud gasp) Damn! He fell again! That one had to hurt!
4. I don’t like his music choice. Ice skating and heavy metal guitar don’t mix.
5. Bless his heart. He tried.
6. What movie are those songs from? They're so familiar. Gershwin. Damn, I can’t think of it! There’s the name of a city in it. New York? No, that’s not it.
7. (More loud gasping) Oh, nooooo! He fell! Doggone it. And he was doing so good.
8. Wow! Look at the nose on this guy!
9. His skate shoe has come untied! Well, that’s a pisser!
10. An American in Paris!! That’s it!! (see #6)
Scott Hamilton, your job is not in any danger.
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