A SWINGING IDEA

The merry folks in London have come up with a stellar idea. It’s a “playground for old folks.” Hey, count me in! Every town has a playground for little kids, but who wants to compete with them for the swings and get sand kicked in their aging faces? Not I. I want my very own place to frolic. Here is what my adult playground will need:

I want one of those rock climber deals. You know what I mean? It’s a fake cliff with fake rocks that stick out for hand grabbing and foot landing. Those look so much fun, --and let’s throw in some elaborate monkey bars for good measure. Next, I want a low-grade trampoline and some swings and teeter totters. And a go-cart track for those of us who’ve grown tired of teenagers zipping by and making faces at us for driving so slowly at the current public theme parks.

Oh, and I want a big cork crew slide. I love the one at the park in Independence, but let’s go for something even higher. I will be sooooooo glad that I no longer have to be stared at by little kids wondering what in the hell I’m doing on their slide. I also want some tree houses that are linked with rope ladders and Tarzan swings. I’ll be Queen of the Jungle.

My old folks park also needs a mini-golf course, with 18 holes, and a couple of horseshoe pits. I love to toss those horseshoes. And to top it off, at the end of the day, we swinging seniors can head off to the park’s heated pool, spa, and bar for an hour-long hot stone massage and cool refreshments. All that action is gonna make my body ready for some serious rest and relaxation! No kids allowed!!!

Now, if we can just just get this idea Medicare-approved, our Golden Years are set!