EEK!!

"Scratch. Scratch, scratch."

What was that? Is Fluffy giving herself a manicure on the bookcase? Is there a squirrel in the attic? Or, worse yet, is there a mouse in the house??!!

Late one night last week, I was watching TV and kept hearing this scratchy sound. "Fluffy, is that you?" Nope. She came prancing into the living room to issue a denial. So, I turned the TV remote on mute to get a better listen. Maybe I was just hearing things. And then, there it was!!! A $#@! mouse skittered across the floor between Fluffy and me!

"Yikes!" I pulled my feet up on the recliner. Fluffy leaped into the air...all fours. I then dashed to the bedroom where Big Bore had been fast asleep for several hours.

"Jeff-reeeee!! Wake up!! There's a mouse in the house!!"

He rolled over. "So what, he grumbled. "The cats will take care of it."

"No they won't" I argued. "Fluffy's scared, too, and Critter is asleep on the sofa. They're too domesticated to catch a mouse."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Okay, so he had a point there. It was after midnight and we didn't have any mouse-catching supplies on hand. No stores would be open for hours.

"I want you to protect me!!" I shuddered.

"From a little old mouse?"

"Yes! I HATE mice!!"

"Am I really awake having this conversation or is this a nightmare?" he asked. "Go to sleep." So I settled down and then he started making little mousy scratches all over my body to creep me out. Some savior he is.

Later that day, once the stores opened, I hustled out for some D-Con. I can't cope with those wooden traps that you put cheese on because one time, when I was a kid, Mama Bore caught a mouse that way but it wasn't dead yet and--oh, forget it. I get all squeamish even thinking about it. Anyway, the D-Con poisonous condos have been strategically placed about. I haven't heard any further scratching, but every little funky sound I hear makes me think that there's a nasty little mouse lurking about ready to attack my toes.

--Meanwhile, I think I'm going to have to send Fluffy and Critter to some sort of rodent combat training camp so they can do a better job patrolling the place. This is just one more reason why I detest cold weather. Those blasted mice think they can invade Casa de la Flaming Bore and make it their winter vacation destination. Well, I don't think so! Consider this a declaration of war!