BRAINSTORM

I spent an early Mother's Day with Mom Bore yesterday, and since it rained the entire time, we didn't get to do any gardening. Instead, we ended up doing the next best thing--playing Scrabble and "Jeopardy!" I don't know how many Scrabble games and dictionaries she's worn out over the years, but her current board is the deluxe plastic edition on a lazy Susan, with a velvet pouch for the letters. Very classy.

I edged her out at Scrabble, but neither of us made any wonder words. My biggest was JUMPY--apropos for me, I thought, worth 43 points, and her top score was 30 points with HAVE on the triple word score. She was hoping I'd let her get away with using all of her letters, making EUROPEAN, but proper nouns are a no-no. That's a real rule, not a Flaming Bore one. No mercy.

We did so-so with "Jeopardy!" There were answers we knew but couldn't blurt out in time. An example went something like so:

ALEX TREBEK: "In 1805, he rose to fame writing his epic poem, 'The Lay of the Last Minstrel.'" (I think the category must have been EUROPEAN.)

ME: "Oh, it's that Scottish author...what's his name...not Burns...oh, hell, I know it!"

BEEP-BEEP.

ALEX TREBEK: "Time is up. I'm sorry. The answer is Sir Walter Scott."

ME: "Of course! #@%&*!"

I would never make it on "Jeopardy!" Alex would kick off my lame brain for grumbling swear words instead of the correct answers.

Although Mom Bore said she was glad to have me around to pass away the rainy day, I think she was looking forward to my departure. The daily newspaper from Independence was soon to arrive. It has a crossword puzzle in it, the same one that's published in my big sister's local paper, from Pittsburg, and Mom would want to get started on it. They check their results via a phone call each evening. Brainiacs always have to keep their minds sharp for their next heated competition.