Tomorrow I'm going to Clearwater High School to judge a state speech contest, something that I've done for probably the last 15 years or so. What makes me such a fine judge of public speaking is that I was once the most pathetic member of my school's debate/speech team.
I never got along with our highly-esteemed coach, who I considered a bat out of hell and not just because she drove like one. (Perhaps Literary Diva can recall her driving 70 mph and writing debate rebuttal cards AT THE SAME TIME! and passing them back to her horrified passengers.)
My speech season didn't start off well when I questioned a particular "humorous reading" she told me to present. It was called "The Macbeth Murder Mystery," and the big problem was: I found nothing funny about it. It might have helped had I been a Shakespearian authority at age 15 and was familiar with the tragedy, so I read it and I STILL didn't understand what was so slap-happy hilarious about the piece I'd been assigned to memorize and perform before the critics.
"I don't see how this is humorous. Can't I do something else?"
"Do it!" The Bat flew off.
So, reluctantly, I presented "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" for the speech contests--to lukewarm reviews. I think during the whole season maybe two judges actually cracked a slight grin. I wanted to ask them afterwards what they found humorous about it, so I could learn a little something, but I was afraid they would respond that they were just giving me a sympathy smile.
Now that the table has turned and I'm a judge, I try to give constructive criticism, and I always write at least one compliment, even if it's just, "You have nice posture." I have been in their shoes before--and I know exactly how god-awful uncomfortable those shoes can be. Ouch!
4 comments:
I was complaining one time how I couldn't read her handwriting and she told me she'd been driving then!! If she was alive now she'd be texting on her cell while she drove.
The best zinger she got me with was after I was teaching and I told her it was just so difficult grading 120 papers a night as I had them write every day. She looked square at me and said, Well, I graded every one of your papers so shut up and quit whining. I mean she'd ASKED me how I felt about teaching English. At least you rebelled. I just scurried around trying to make her happy. Which was an impossible task. It wasn't any fun after you left anyway as then I had to put up with morons. OH well, I can win an argument with the best of them ever since. My DIL's twin has a PhD in Speech and runs over everyone in the family, except moi! I just cross ex her right at the dinner table. She is almost 30 and does nothing but debate, on and off campus. She's in a wimpy league in Carbondale and I swear all they debate is whether to be a tree hugger or not. We cut our teeth on a little nuclear proliferation. (Signed, your old debate partner.)
At the judge's luncheon today, I was telling the gals at my table that I always felt sorry for my debate partner because she was so good (got the I ratings) and I was crap (IV ratings). Anything we won was your doing, not mine, that's for sure!!!
I thought we were both great! We won trophies and everything. You were always smooth and logical and calm. I was always irritated and mad at them and emotional. I swear we both always got ones. Isn't it so funny how we remember things differently. And then I had to debate with the morons as partners. Even I quit trying! Then I was so worried about you that I almost got sick. We sure did have fun though. I bet it was fun to judge a debate now. I kept up with it while I was in Pittsburg and coached while I taught there but that is the end of it--until someone crosses me and I pull out my big wooden box of debate cards and slug "em.
One time at a Tri-Valley league tournament in Fredonia, finals, Mina and I judged together. When I saw her walk in, I had to laugh and then shudder for the poor kids who had both Mina and me for judges.
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