RED ALERT!!!

When I returned home from aluminum can pick-up patrol yesterday, my neighbor lady was outside. Her husband and she are yard nerds, so I was quick to say, "Come on over and look at my strawberry patch. They're starting to turn red!" I proudly escorted her over to the patch and pulled back the leaves where the first two ripening berries were....only to find that THEY'D BEEN ATTACKED!!!!! My beautiful almost-red strawberries, HALF EATEN!!! I about blew a gasket. No shortcake this week! ---We quickly made our own theories as to who was the criminal.

"Turtle," she guessed.

"Rabbit," I disagreed. "Do not mess with my strawberries! This means war!!"

I surrounded the patch with little plastic white fencing sections I had in the garage, but when Big Bore got home from work he said they wouldn't help much. He's going to try to find some plastic netting today to put over the area.

BUT FIRST....he must go fishing. This is his day off work so, naturally, he was out of bed at 4 AM, slurping coffee, removing his night crawlers from the refrigerator, and getting psyched up by watching an episode of "Star Trek" on TV.

"Captain, there appears to be an invasive agent in the strawberry patch!"

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Man your stations!"

Well, I'm staying home to stand watch over my precious fruit until he gets back. I smell a counterattack. May the force be with me, and may my strawberries live long and prosper!