WEEKEND TRAVEL

I spent the past weekend in Fredonia helping Mom try out a new insulin delivery system. Other than watching her jab herself four times a day with a needle, we had a great time cruising around, yippety yapping, and piddling in the yard. I won the Scrabble game, but she won the title of creating the longest word--WONDERING--as in: I am wondering how Flaming Bore got so lucky to pick the Z, Q, X, J, and K. But we all know that old saying: "All is not fair in love and Scrabble."

While I was home, I had nice visits from my old Mound School/Methodist Church pals, Maggie and Nancy Sue. Maggie was with her husband Robert, a NASCAR wannabe in control of their topless Honda 2000 Hair-Raiser. When Maggie suggested he take me for a spin around the neighborhood, I was game. After all, the speed limit is in the 20-30 mph range. How dangerous could it be? Well, ol' A.J., er, Robert, had that baby roaring from 0 to 60 in a nanosecond. There was enough thrust working to force me into the backseat, had there been one. I'll stick with my Saturn pedal mobile.

Returning from a Sunday afternoon stroll, I noticed half the town was parked around Mama Bore's house to attend the high school graduation ceremony across the street. That got me to thinking what one piece of advice I would give those 18-year-old hotshots had I been their commencement speaker. After much cogitation, I decided upon, "Stay away from illegal drugs." Drugs cause people to lie, cheat, steal, kill, lose their jobs, ruin personal relationships, and destroy their bodies. Don't use drugs and you'll have a better chance of having a happier life. End of sermon.

Last of all, what the heck was with that ending to "Desperate Housewives" last night? Just when I thought all the conflicts were neatly resolved for the end of the season, the writers have to toss in this "Five Years Later" curveball. I'm crying, "Foul!"