A few nights ago the grocery store down the street was robbed around closing time by a masked, armed bandit. The middle-aged check-out gal, who works two other jobs, bless her, had the presence of mind to just hand over what was in the cash register, and he was quickly out the door with his load. Big Bore, who has an air-tight alibi because he was home asleep at the time, thinks the robber is a local yokel who will soon be arrested, while my theory is that he was just a felon passing through town who was trying to collect some gas money.
The day after the robbery, I was in the store to get some apples and one of the teen-age checkers, who was not in the store at the time of the crime, told me how it all went down.
"He was real polite," she said of the robber. "He said 'please' and 'thank-you very much.'"
I beg to differ. Anyone who points a gun at someone else's head is not a poster boy for the mannerly. He is a jerk-wad who needs to be scraped off the street and tossed in jail.
This morning, when I couldn't get to sleep because I'd had a nightcap of coffee and peanut butter, I got to thinking some more about the robbery. Big Bore makes daily visits to this grocery store. What if he'd been there during the hold-up? I posed the question to him later in the day. Without hesitation he said, "I would have thrown a big can of beans at his head, causing him to drop the gun."
Ah, I should have known this would have been his response. Big Bore is always thinking of new ways to serve beans!
2 comments:
I had to sit here for a minute, while I finished laughing. I just know Big Bore, so maybe that is why your bean statement is so funny to me.
I love the new ideas for beans, keep them comming.
Actually, it wouldn't even have to be a "felon" needing gas money lately. When such necessities as food and gasoline as getting so costly, increases in armed robbery are sure to follow. I can just see BB lobbing cans of Bush's Best and the robber hitting them like clay targets in midair. BB would come home smelling of beans with stains all over his clothes and you'd be suspecting he'd been stirring up a batch at some diner on the sly, robbing you of the chance to keep his culinary expertise all to yourself. Aren't you glad you've opened up your personal life to the world so we can speculate on it??
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