MONSTER MASH

The other day Big Bore decided he needed to whip up something better for his pole beans to attach their vines to because they weren’t trailing up the privacy fence. I suggested he just go buy some lattice work, but, of course, he knew he could rig up a masterpiece from crap he'd find in the garage, so more power to him. I left him on his own. Staying out of his way and letting genius take its course is usually the best policy.

When he got the job complete, I was invited to go outside and marvel at his creation. I about fainted. In the process of setting up the climbing apparatus for his beloved beans, he had stomped all over my even more beloved white and pink vinca!!! With his size 13-G (for giant) clodhoppers!

“Look what you did to my flowers!” I moaned, pointing out the damage.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see them.”

“Because you were careless and not paying attention!” I continued moaning.

“They’ll bounce back,” he offered optimistically.

“Yeah, probably if I go buy new ones,” I said, sticking out my lower lip in its best pouty position. “How would you feel if I flattened your green beans?”

He walked away in defeat, knowing he was in the doghouse and it was best not to argue with me. He’d mucked up. Leave me alone and I’ll eventually calm down.

I got out a spade and some dirt from the compost pile to try to elevate and reinforce what was now laying over. I’ve been babying them ever since and all but one now look salvageable. More or less. Big Foot, er Big Bore, is going to have to make amends for his lousy footwork, though. My birthday is coming up and you can pretty well guess what I want from him: flowers….lots and lots of flowers…the more, the better. And he can have the pleasure of planting them for me, too…if he’ll just watch his step!