STONED

Don't ever get a kidney stone. That's my advice for today...mainly because Friday I woke up with the most horrendous pain I'd ever experienced, and, long story short, I was ambulanced over to a hospital in Wichita, where this pea-sized stone was blasted out yesterday by some laser contraption. Don't ask me for details. I was too busy shaking and screaming and puking to care to remember much about it. From now on, my mission in life is to make sure there are no repeat performances for the ol' Flaming Bore, here, and to get the stent removed from my urethra...or whatever it's called "down there." Here's what will be my new bumper sticker:

"JUST SAY NO TO KIDNEY STONES!"

I'm hoping that one of our presidential candidates will pick up this slogan as a campaign catch phrase and spread the word. Kidney stones are a bitch! A double bitch. No, a triple bitch. Man, they suck!