Friday, July 11, 2008

OPEN WIDE....AND SCRATCH


Twice this past week I’ve taken a cat to the local vet clinic for an annual check-up. Now, mind you, these exams are more thorough than any I’ve ever had….plus they cost more. For some reason, Blue Cross/Blue Shield does not provide health insurance coverage for children named Fluffy. But, that’s okay. I’ve always preached that if you can’t afford the upkeep, don’t have a pet. Or four.

Now, I’m sad to say we have a little pest problem right now in the Bore household that we’ve never had before…fleas. Since Little Bit goes outside for a little bit every morning, he’s likely our culprit, but we use this expensive Frontline Plus flea and tick chemical on the cats and it’s always worked before. The vet explained, though, that this product doesn’t prevent fleas from hopping aboard. They will not live on the cats for long, but, in the meantime, they could be laying “fleas-to-be” all over the joint. By the thousands. I started scratching in her office just hearing about the perils of an infestation.

The vet recommended vacuuming the house from top to bottom…and we all know how much the Flaming Bore LOVES to vacuum. I’d rather be strapped in a dental chair for a root canal. Plus, the kind of vacuum cleaner I have will only work on the carpet, not on the sofa, the chairs, the baseboards, etc. This means taking a soapy rag to every surface of the house. I can’t wait.

The vet continued to say that fleas prefer dark, moist places for their hatching grounds. Oh, no! This explains those itchy spots underneath the droop zone of my droopy right breast, I thought! I’ve got fleas!!! When I got home, I told Big Bore about my medical emergency and he said, in deadpan fashion, “Do you want me to put some Frontline on the back of your neck?” I gave him my best, “Ha-ha. Very funny. You’re a whole lotta frickin’ help” look. You gals are all familiar with that facial expression, aren’t you?

Well, I’m bringing up this unpleasant topic to my readership because I’m hoping someone will have a suggestion for getting the fleas to flee from the premises, pronto. I’m open to any suggestion--as long as it doesn’t involve vacuuming, any other type of physical exertion, or running away from home. I’m just itching to hear what ideas you might have!

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Google, ideas. or leave camp and set up a bug bomb. You will have to take your children too. Yike. I hope you get them buggers.

That sucks.
(your medical boob problem is funny)

Unknown said...

Set off a flea bomb and head for the shelter with you four legged culprits in tow. Thats my advice!

As for your comment on my blog, yes they do make him drowsy. He has to get his blood work done every several months to make sure everything checks out ok.

dr. maureen said...

stock up on flea collars, put one around each of your ankles and those of the Big Bore. put them around all the furniture legs. get one of those uplift bras so there are no "warm damp spots" anymore.

we are quite fortunate to never have had fleas---our inside cats never venture beyond the screened porch---although i do worry about fleas marching in through the screens and the floorboards!!! the (mostly outside) dogs get Frontlined and have never had any varmints despite the fact that they run all over 2 acres of forest and other vegetation. i guess that some critters just don't live in these mountains (now we do have bears and coyotes and mountain lions.....)

Anonymous said...

At Christmas time a friend of mine was called to California to remove an infestation of racoons from an elderly acquaintance's basement. The coons and their refuse were banished but fleas remained. He tells me it takes three doses of bug bombs at appropriate intervals to finally remove the critters!! The problem is the eggs hatch at three week intervals and for 09-12 weeks, you can't be sure you really got them. He says the vacuuming, etc. only removes a small portion of the eggs anyway.