Monday, April 13, 2009

HEAR NO EVIL

Big Bore finally went ballistic about the neighbor’s dog Saturday night. Its incessant barking has been building up to a boiling point in both of us for quite some time, so I wasn’t too surprised when, after an hour of trying to get to sleep, he got out of bed spewing every expletive in Webster’s Dictionary of Really Profane Words and called the local law enforcement center to complain about his peace being disturbed. And when an officer did not arrive as quickly as BB felt reasonable, he called again. Don’t worry, he put a self-imposed restraining order on his language when he called.

Now, the barking annoys me, too, but I wasn’t the one trying to sleep and having to get up at 4 AM to go to work the next morning, so I was somewhat calmer about it all. I put on my shoes and walked over to the neighbor’s place myself--something I’d been thinking of doing for months. I mentally rehearsed what I was going to say so I wouldn’t sound like the lunatic raving inside our house. I got my speech all worked out nicely, but then no one was home, so my practice in politeness did no good.

Next, I went to Plan B and tried to locate the neighbor by calling one of his relatives. No luck there, either, but there was the possibility that one of the family would come over and shut the dog in the garage. I didn’t insist upon it, but this was a temporary answer to the problem. In the meantime, a police officer arrived to tell us what we already knew--no one was home. If nothing else, the officer got to have the pleasure of hearing ol’ Barky in nonstop action and Big Bore’s complaint would be on record.

In about 10 more minutes, the neighbor’s relative must have come to our rescue because the dog finally shut up. Ahhhhh. Big Bore was off in dream land in no time. I finally hit the sack around 1 AM and got my wake-up call, as usual, from the dog--back in its pen--howling mournfully at 7:30 AM. I keep on telling myself that listening to its noise box is better than being bitten and shredded to pieces, so maybe I’ll just try Big Bore’s standard mantra he regularly shouts out the window to our canine neighbor: “Shut the f--- up!!!!”

2 comments:

Unknown said...

LMAO. I hate when our dogs bark outside. But I must say, we never leave ours unattended outside and definitely not for that long periods of time. Good for you complaining. I can't imagine the language that was flying around the house! lol Hope he used proper grammar during his rage.

Sarah said...

I HATE the neighbors' dog. Their back yard is right by our bedroom window, and in the summer we will have it open. Just to listen to barking all night or first thing in the morning..

Need to get my paintball gun out.