AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

Prince William and Kate Middleton aren't the only famously hot twosome to recently announce their engagement. On Christmas Eve, while watching The Little Mermaid, perennial playboy Hugh Hefner, 84, proposed to his live-in bunny, Crystal Harris, who is a mere 60 years younger than Hef. Comedian Jay Leno has accused the bride-to-be of "bed panning for gold," but maybe Crystal truly has a preference for great-grandpa types and just likes really older men. It's hard for me to picture myself happily married to a 121-year-old, regardless of the money, but everyone is different. I say, go for it.

When it comes to men, I have the opposite preference. I haven't dated an older man since I was in college, and that was only a two-year age differential. Since I am immature, sophomoric, and socially under-developed, I tend to go for the younger guys. My feeling, right or wrong, is that someone older would expect from me a certain amount of sophistication, of which I have none, so it's just been easier to hang with the fellas who aren't as old and demanding. Mama Bore says I have a Peter Pan Complex and will never grow up. I suppose she is right. My aching body may tell me I'm over 60, but my mind is still wandering around somewhere in the 20s. Sometimes I glance into the mirror and think, "Who the hell is that old lady?"

Hugh Hefner lives every man's dream. He obviously prefers nubile flesh and, luckily for him, he has been uber-successful in attracting much younger women to his bunny hutch. Any blood-pumping man who accuses him of robbing cradles is just jealous and would trade places with him in a heartbeat. And anyone who thinks Crystal Harris is just in this relationship for the fame and fortune and would love old Hef even if he was a nobody who struggled to make ends meet every month with a paltry Social Security check is, well, ...probably right.