Monday, January 31, 2011

SARCASTIC PLASTIC


MY AMERICAN EXPRESS APPLICATION


Name: The Flaming Bore

Member since: Well, I'm not actually a member. I'm just pretending. My two Visa cards are probably more than I should be allowed to have.

Obsessed with: cleaning out the cat litter boxes, cleaning out the cats' ears, eradicating fleas on the cats, cleaning up cat hairballs; just any crazy thing cat-related

Favorite instrument: jews harp, juice harp, jus harp...however it's spelled. Can't play it but love that twangy twang

Orchestra seating or balcony? a seat in the ladies restroom, with no waiting line, will be sufficient, thank-you

Perfect concession snack: a super-sized tub of hot buttered popcorn and a Butterfinger for dipping in a Diet Coke, please

Secret talent: able to leap small buildings with a single bound

Ideal show: live performance of "Pageant" at Cabaret Oldtown. Nothing beats a man in drag playing the accordion while roller skating.

Fondest memory: racing orange juice can stilts with bro Beans

My card: expired

I'm in.....CHARGE!!




1 comment:

Unknown said...

hilarious! keep warm. be safe. and no im not a closet KU fan. grr....