I'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN

I have a terrible confession to make. I am an "American Idol" junkie. Since the TV series kicked off in 2002, I've been there--from all the painful auditions to the glorious finales. I consider myself the 4th judge on the panel, right alongside Randy, Paula, and Simon, giving my opinion to anyone who will listen, which is usually the cats.

My reason for worshipping Idol is that, once upon a time, I imagined myself as a famous singer. When I was in college, I dreamed of being the next Mary Travers, the long-haired blonde in the folk trio Peter, Paul, and Mary. I liked her Bohemian look, swishing that stringy hair all over the microphone. Cool. When I couldn't find a Peter and Paul to team up with, I decided on Karen Carpenter. I loved her rich voice and dreamy ballads. Not having a piano-playing, songwriting brother like her dear, Richard, however, that idea went out the door, too. I eventually decided maybe I'd just better stay in college and sing along with the radio. Fame, afterall, does have its downside.

So, it was a touch of nostalgia during last week's "American Idol" when a female contestant sang The Carpenters' song, "Superstar." It starts out, "Long ago, and oh, so far away...." Big Bore, who happened to be watching the show with me, which he occasionally does, surprised me by saying, "Oh, that's one of my favorite songs. Karen Carpenter had the best voice."

Then he totally blew me away when he added, "You know, when I first met you (1978), you reminded me so much of her, with your long brown hair and bangs. You still do."

"Wow!" I said. "You're kidding! When I was in college I wanted to BE the next Karen Carpenter!"

I felt so flattered, having finally achieved my own little merit of musical recognition, even it was just due to my Karen-ish hairstyle. And I now have a fan club base...of one person. Is it ever too late to chase one's wild dreams? If the TV network executives ever decide to create "American Idol: Washed-Up Old Timers and Has Beens Edition" then I'm signing up!