Last night I was channel surfing and came across a show called, “12 Sexiest Hollywood Jobs.” Well, of course, this caught my attention since I’ve worked in at least 12 not-so-sexy jobs during my lifetime, so I wanted to see where I’d gone wrong.
One of the suitcase models from “Deal or No Deal” was being interviewed, relating how the 26 gorgeous gals on this TV game show work harder than viewers may think. For one, they have to report to the studio at the god-awful hour of 7 AM to get their hair and make-up done. Then, they have to hold still for the dress fittings, and, worst of all, put on those painful 4-inch heels at the last minute--only to experience the peril of teetering on them while walking up and down stairs on stage before purring their two memorized words for the show, “Hi, Howie!” Tough stuff. The beauty wouldn’t reveal the exact starting salary for being a "Deal" suitcase girl but said it’s in six figures. For 36 days work (six days a month for six months).
Now, this is a job I could go for! The problem is, I’m about 25 pounds and 30-some years on the plus side. This calls for drastic measures, so I’m advocating a nationwide recall of these “Deal or No Deal” babes, to be replaced by your average, aging, everyday suitcase carrier…like me. The ideal candidate will be free of make-up, her hair will be pulled back in a ponytail, she’ll wear sweatpants and a t-shirt, and walk around in flip-flops. Sexy will not be a requirement. As long as she can figure out how to open the blasted suitcase, she’ll pass the test.
I figure the NBC execs will be thrilled to save the millions of dollars on wardrobe expenses and lip gloss alone, but if they don’t go for this idea, we so-so, low-maintenance gals could threaten to file a class action lawsuit, accusing them of discrimination. That’s what everyone else does these days. It’s not fair that the titillating bombshells get all the high-paying, oh-so-easy jobs. What’s your opinion? Personally, I think the show’s producers would be most happy to meet with our lawyers ....and work out a deal.