ABSOLUTE GENIUS

According to America On Line, there is a 6-year-old boy in Ohio who has an IQ of 176. He can recite the alphabet backwards, name all the 50 states, and can list the US presidents in chronological order. Big flippin’deal. I can do that, too, and my IQ is considerably lower than his! He can also tell you what day of the week any date was, going back to the year 2000. So what? Who needs to know that Feb. 28, 2001, landed on a Wednesday, anyway? Have him get this country out of debt. Then I’ll be impressed.

Well, you can just imagine the can of worms that this “news” opened up in Cyberland. Average Joe jerks just like me were offering up their sarcastic reactions in droves. Here was my favorite:

Gosh, that just pisses me off that a six-year-old is way smarter than I am. I can't even remember how many states there are. Nothing like a snot-nose kid correcting you every time you make a mistake. These are inequalities in life that there's not a damn thing you can do about. This kid can be the real Slumdog Millionaire. "How many spots on a ladybug? Everybody knows that; it has twelve spots." "You are absolutely correct for the grand prize of $20 million dollars." That's not a bad day's pay for a six-year-old who can't tie his own shoes or wipe his own behind. Dammit all to hell. This kid had better put that alphabet crap away and figure out how to turn lead into gold or build a time travel machine. Otherwise, his useless mental parlor tricks are just wasting my time. At least he can impress his future girlfriends by always memorizing their birthdays. Women just love that sort of crap. This punk kid is gonna get a job before I find another one.

Aaaaahhhh!! Thanks to AOL, geniuses are no longer the only people around who know it all. Smart asses of the world, unite!!