JUDGMENT DAY

I have a serious accusation to make that may have dire worldwide consequences. Hold on to your computer chair. I think the current American Idol judges, Randy "Dawg" Jackson, Jennifer "J-Lo" Lopez, and Steven "Just how high and loud can I scream?" Tyler are showing favoritism towards the male contestants. The poor women don't stand a chance.

Case in point #1: Randy recently dogged a cute little gal named Haley for singing a country song last week and a contemporary pop song this week. "I don't know who you are," he moaned to her. "You need to establish an identity." Meanwhile, a bearded contestant named Casey has jumped around from jazz, to pop, to grunge rock (he assassinated a Nirvana hit this week) and the judges declare him a versatile genius who can do it all. "You're willing to take risks," the judges admire. So, it's okay for the guy to switch musical genres, but not the gal?

Case in point #2: Jo-Lo whines at Haley that her body motions don't seem natural. She tells her she sings okay but she looks uncomfortable on stage. But when Paul, a Rod Stewart wanna-be

with a 10,000 megawatt smile, performs, he gyrates around like Frankenstein on speed and the judges rave about his unique movements. "You look like you're having so much fun," J-Lo gushes to him.

Case in point #3: Naima sings a bit pitchy and the judges are all over her case about it. "You need to really work on this problem," she's told. But Jacob hits some sour notes, too, and it's, "You were a little pitchy in some places, Dawg, but man do you ever own a song! Wow!"

Is it any wonder that of the six people "on the chopping block" the past two weeks, all have been female?

(I have to admit, though, that the contestant who got booted off this week, Karen Rodriguez, needed to go. Anyone who wears a metallic silver mini dress, thigh-high boots, earrings the size of dinner plates, AND a beehive has no business being in a singing competition--even if she is trying to look like J-Lo.)

Stay tuned. If this prejudicial treatment continues on American Idol, then my idle mind may take this complaint all the way to the top. Of Karen's beehive.