PARTY ANIMALS

A belated Happy March Birthday shout-out here for two beloved family members. Great neph Boomer hit #5 on Tuesday, and Little Bit turned Sweet 16 last Sunday. I think that's 80-something in human years, but who's counting. The above picture is not from his birthday party but was taken a few years ago during a male bonding session with Big Bore. Bits is also a big fan of yogurt, preferably peach.

My favorite 5th birthday story dates back to when my nephew Brandon, Boomer's dad, celebrated his #5 on Channel 7's Fun Club back in the 1970s. The Fun Club was a 30-minute cartoon and music show, live, that had a peanut gallery of kids hosted by The 49'er, some grizzly old gold miner type of guy who sang off key. Kids celebrating birthdays at the Fun Club got the pleasure of receiving a cardboard crown and an up-close and personal interview from The 49'er himself. At which point, Brandon's birthday was spoiled and his self-image ruined for life:

"What's your name, little girl?" The 49'er asked him. Oh, my god! Did he just call Brandon a little girl?

My nephew's facial expression quickly went into pissed-off mode. The camera zoomed in on him, the microphone stuck in front of his face.

"I'm not a little girl," he mumbled.

"What?" The 49'er asked. Ya had to speak up for the ol' guy.

"I'm not a girl," Brandon said louder.

"Ohhhh!" Chuckle, chuckle. Apology, apology.

But the damage was done. Everyone in the 4-state viewing area had heard it. We haven't let Brandon live down that story in, hmmmm, let's see, about 35 years? He had longish, beautiful blonde curls back then, but he was sturdy as a tank and there was no way, in my eyes, he looked like a girl. The 49'er must have had one too many Bloody Marys before the show.

It's a wonder Brandon didn't rip up his Fun Club crown right there on the spot and shove all the pieces in The 49er's face, but the royal headwear survived long enough for the picture below. He may have later torched it with the birthday candles, though. I'm not sure.

Anyway, that's my birthday story for today, and I'm sticking to it. Here's to being 5 and always having fun, whether you're a girl OR a boy!