ON THE CUTTING EDGE

Every spring Big Bore and I cut back our three ornamental grasses in the backyard. It's simple. First, I stand around and watch. Then he gets out some rope to tie around each one at the base, ties another rope around about a foot higher, binding all the grass, then he saws it down. I pick up the bundle of grass and toss it in the pick-up truck for disposal. It takes about three minutes each. So, today I volunteered to cut back the two ornamental grasses at the Garden Club's downtown garden. How hard can that be?

Well, I found out that BB makes it look a lot simpler than it really is...for me. I did a lousy job of tying the grass into a bundle--since I was never a Boy Scout--and my sawing job was even worse. Call 9-1-1 is more apt. Mainly because when I finished sawing down the smaller of the two grasses I noticed blood dripping all down the middle finger of my left hand. Yes, folks, I had managed to saw right into it.

Now before I had left home to go to the downtown garden, BB told me, "Don't forget to take your heavy work gloves."

"I already have them in the car," I answered proudly. I knew he thought I'd forget them.

So where were the damned gloves when I was cutting alway at the grass and my finger? Still in the car, of course.

As I was running water over the bloody mess, showing my Garden Club co-horts my battle wound, who should happen to drive up but Big Bore, who was leaving me his truck to use for hauling away the grass and other "stuff" we gals were clipping and snipping away to get the garden looking spiffy.

"I need your help," I said as he approached.

"What do you need?"

"A tourniquet, I think." I showed him my finger, blood still pumping out.

"Weren't you wearing your gloves?"

"Well, I sort of forgot to put them on. They're still in the car." Another genius moment in my life, where he rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me.

He went home to fetch me the first-aid kit. Another Garden Clubber helped me chop down the other, larger grass, although we both failed at bundling it up nicely. I think we left about half of it laying there, hoping that it will blow away down Main Street overnight.

Next year I'm doing things differently. Like volunteering someone else to cut back the ornamental grass.