BROKEN PROMISES

The Flaming Bore is sorry to hear that eternal playboy Hugh Hefner has been dumped a few days before his next scheduled trip to the altar. Seems that his sweetie Crystal, 60 years younger, has decided she'd rather have a possible singing career than be married to a mega-millionaire geezer. Who can blame a girl for wanting to make her own way in the world?

There's been a vicious rumor, however, that she's been slinking around with the son of Dr. Phil McGraw, TV King of Psycho Babble. Geesh. Talk about going from bad to worse. The thought of having Dr. Phil for a possible father-in-law is just downright scary. That windbag would be butting in with every judgmental moment. At least if Crystal went ahead and married HH, she wouldn't have to contend with any pious in-laws!

I consider myself somewhat experienced on the subject because I once had a mother-in-law, rest her soul, with whom I didn't always see eye-to-eye. Mainly, it grinded my gizzard when she came to our house while we were at work and rearranged the spices in alphabetical order or perfectly lined up all the papers I'd haphazardly pinned to the dinette bulletin board. Okay, so I'm an unorganized slob. I get the picture.

I think Hugh Hefner should be glad that the wedding got cancelled BEFORE it took place rather than AFTER. At least he's spared dealing with in-laws, a messy divorce, and the partial loss of his bulging bank account. Kudos to Crystal for coming to her senses and deciding to quit stringing him along just because he has fame and money. Let's just hope that when her aspiring singing career tanks and she's back on skid row, she doesn't come hopping back to the Bunny mansion asking for a handout. And I mean carats, not carrots.