F BOMBS

Yesterday afternoon I dozed off while resting in the recliner, as old folks often do, only to be rudely awakened by a gawd-awful calamity of yelling, screaming, and swearing---coming from the television. Big Bore was watching Casino, a 1995 movie starring Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci as Las Vegas mobsters who know how to toss around the f-word more than any two human beings on earth. Supporting their dirty mouths was Sharon Stone, DeNiro's drug-addicted, cheating boozer of a wife. A real doll.

Now, I must say that these three icons of the acting world were quite adept with their f-bomb usage. Noun, verb, adverb, adjective, gerund. They had it all in their repertoire. After a while, I began to wonder just how many times the naughty word was said, in one form or another, during the almost three hours of the movie. So, I got on the Internet. Surely there were plenty of oddballs out there who had tallied the total so inquiring minds like mine would have an answer to such a thought-provoking question of world importance.

I awakened over two hours into the movie; I'd missed out on a lot of dialogue, but based on what I heard, I guessed there would be 14,590 f-words in Casino. According to the websites I found, however, I was WAY off by over 14,000. It seems the movie ONLY has 422. Well f-it! What a f-ing disappointment that was! My guess-timator is really f-ed up! Next time I wake up to a f-ingly stinky movie like Casino, I will just throw a bar of soap at the television and try to go back to sleep.