Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A NOT-SO-MODEST PROPOSAL

There's a job in New York City I'd never heard of until watching ABC's "Nightline" last night. Proposal Planner. Lovers who have more money than they know what to do with pay anywhere from $2,000-$10,000 to have this planner gal arrange the perfect location, music, food, etc. for the big question-popping event that will certainly garner a positive response. She even scripts what the proposer will say.

Call me unromantic, but I think this is a total waste of dollars and makes no sense, other than to keep one less person out of the unemployment line. Also, I'm jealous because I didn't think of it first. I'd be more than happy to set up a shindig for a fraction of what Proposal Planner charges. --And here are a few of my sure-fire proposal line suggestions that I am happy to share with you:

"Whatdya say we set up a a pre-nup agreement?"

"You wanna pool our resources to we can start sharing bills?"

"Why don't we stop shacking up and make this legal."

"Got any plans for next Saturday?"

"Care for a ball and chain?"

"My mother says if she doesn't have any grandchildren soon, I'll be cut from the inheritance."

"Would you like to wash my dirty underwear for the rest of your life?"

"What would think about keeping me from being deported?"

"Oh, to hell with it. Let's just do it and get it over with."

"I'm pregnant."

Any one of these super romantic sentences is sure to create a life sentence of marital bliss. And I, The Flaming Bore, give them to you for free!! Don't you just love them? (Okay, just suck it up and say, "I do.")

3 comments:

dr. maureen said...

well, Scott's proposal to me consisted of: "So, if I want to get on your insurance, I have to marry you?"
me: "yes"
Scott: "okay"
me: "was that a proposal?"
Scott: "yes"

and they lived happily ever after.

Nancy Evans said...

Well,let's add your romantic proposal to the list. It's a classic, for sure!

Sarah said...

ha ha ha you got me laughing in my office this morning :) I love your proposals.