SUMMER OLYMPICS SPORTS I WOULD NEVER QUALIFY FOR...EVEN WHEN YOUNG
#1 Diving--I only specialize in belly busters. When I was a kid and took diving lessons, I lasted one day. I swallowed half the water in the pool after my first attempt, and the instructor ended up throwing me a plastic cushion to keep me from (spit, cough) drowning. After that, I think I transferred to the lifesaving class...my own!
#2 Gymnastics, any event--Can't do a cartwheel. Can't do the splits. Did a somersault, so-so, 40 years ago. Back flips? Hand stands? Forget about it. If I even attempted to crawl on the balance beam, a call would need to be made to 9-1-1.#3 Butterfly--Have you ever watched this event from the underwater camera? I never knew the
human body was capable of being so contorted. Only the Little Mermaid or Aqua Man should be able to swim like this.
#4 Shot put, Discus, Hammer, Javelin--the throwing events in track and field. My scrawny arms have always been disproportionate to the rest of my body. All I've ever been able to do is throw my weight around, throw my back out of whack, and throw up.
#5 Weight lifting--Nowadays, my excuse is back surgery, but when I was a kid, and Mama Bore's chore list will vouch for this, I couldn't lift a finger!
See you at the losers' platform!
5 comments:
I lift weights three times a week. I work on the balance twice a week. It is the low one anymore though. Remember swimming in the pool that because the Girl Scout house?? Some wonderful blonde big guy had to drag me out of the deep end one day when I was about six and went off the board wrong. My trainer took the past 1.5 weeks off work to watch the Olympics. He swam in the Athens Olympics. He says the new swimsuits they wear make the lack of drag unfair. I used to swoon over Mark Spitz.
Oh, Mark Spitz was such a honey. My apt. mate in 1972 and I had a door-length poster of Mark wearing his seven gold medals and Speedos and nothing else. We put it in our bedroom and got to drool over him day and night.
You crack me up. All this little post about how well you do in each thing is funny.
Well, Sarah, when you got it, flaunt it. Right?!
Oh, I hear ya on this one! I'm glad I'm not the only non-coordinated person around! ... & after my first summer of swim lessons I told mom I'd run away from home if she ever enrolled me again. I was pretty proud of myself. At the age of 25 I finally got up the gumption and taught myself how to dive ;)
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