Much to my surprise, Big Bore blew some bucks at Christmas last month and bought the cats a present…”The Incredible Pet Nail Trimmer Pedi Paws!” This battery powered gizmo, which looks strangely like a vibrator (not that I would know anything about what they look like!), is touted as being “Fast, Easy and Gentle” in trimming the claws of one’s pets. You’ve seen ‘em advertised on TV, but he got this one at ALCO.
Now, I didn’t really see the need for this amazing hi-tech trimmer, because for years I’ve just been clipping the cats claws with human nail clippers. As long as someone holds the cats, I can get them trimmed in about five minutes, tops. No sweat. Not that much of a hassle, really. But, I didn’t question Big Bore. The Pedi Paws box claimed that using this device would “eliminate the fear and stress of nail grooming.” Maybe I’d been terrorizing my cats all these years and didn’t realize it.
So, a few weeks ago, when it was time for Fluffy, Muffin, and Critter to have a pedicure (Bits is de-clawed), I got out the Pedi Paws, read the directions, and away we went. Big Bore continued his job of holding the cats, while I operated the vibrator.
Well, it was a disaster. I kept fearing the rotating file was going to rip out Muffin’s claws altogether, so I grinded slowly….so slowly that she finally got pissed and wanted free.
“You’re being too cautious at it,” Big Bore said.
“Well, I don’t want to hurt her,” I protested. “Here, let’s trade places and you try it. It’s not that easy!”
So Big Bore took over vibrator duties while I held down Muffin. I carefully watched the going-ons, fearful that her little paw was going to get eaten up.
“Be careful. Don’t go so fast. Stop! Stop!” I couldn’t bear it.
The next thing I knew, Big Bore tossed the Pedi Paws onto the sofa and stormed out of the operating room.
“Forget it!!” he said, a bit louder than his usual tone of voice. Hmmm. “Muffin, I think I’m in trouble.”
Well, a few nights ago when Muffin was ripping into his skin while “making dough” on his belly, Big Bore said she needed her nails trimmed. I gulped, not wanting another Pedi Paws Pandemonium on my hands.
“Go get the nail clippers,” he said, without hesitation.
Ahhhh. Muffin and I were soooooo relieved.
If there’s anyone out there in cyber land who would like to buy a slightly used Pedi Paws/vibrator, let me know. I’ll be glad to negotiate!!
4 comments:
That story reminded me of our dog clipping nails adventures. Now, I just stay the hell away when its that time. And no thanks on the gently used vibrator used for non-vibrating purposes. But its a great conversation piece!
Luckly all of ours are declawed. ;) I hope someone wants your declawing machine.
I saw the informercial, saying there's no risk of eating up their little paws, but it looked a little dangerous to me too! Guess I haven't heard of any lawsuits yet!
I'm sure you'd get plenty of bids if you just posted "Gently Used Vibrator" on e-Bay!
Hubby bought a doggie one for use with the ilttle doxie last fall at Walgreen's. We've tried it once. the instructions say you have to get the dog used to it by trying it without turning the motor on, by then just letting them see and hear it on, by only doing one nail. This could take longer than a normal dog lives!! The little doxie was scared to death of the thing when we got it out of the box. We, also, are back to using the normal nail clippers. The thing doesn't even make a nice paperweight. Someday, I'll haul it down to Good Will,where I am sure they have it listed on the Do Not Accept list right along with analog TV's.
Post a Comment